How Mental Toughness Separates Good Players from Great Ones

Nicole Loren
Nov 2
3 min read

And why it's the missing link to going pro

Why Mental Toughness Matters More Than Just Talent

Talent will get you noticed. Mental toughness will keep you in the game.

At every level — academy, college, or pro — you'll find technically skilled players. What separates the ones who rise is the ability to perform under pressure, bounce back from setbacks, stay focused when it matters, and stay consistent through long, demanding seasons. Mental toughness is what transforms a good player into a great one.

According to the Handbook of Sport Psychology, players who perform at a high level under pressure share one thing: a strong mental game built on routines, resilience, and self-awareness (Tenenbaum & Eklund, 2007)

1. Performing Under Pressure

Whether it's a final, a trial, or a must-score moment — pressure is part of the game. Great players know how to use pressure, not fear it.

Pro Tip: Reframe Pressure as a Challenge, Not a Threat

Research shows that athletes who perceive pressure as a challenge perform significantly better than those who see it as a threat (Nicholls et al., 2012). Train yourself to see pressure as a chance to shine.

How to Build This Skill:

Practice breathing techniques to regulate nerves before and during games.
Simulate pressure in training — countdown clocks, penalties after mistakes, or timed drills.
Visualize success in high-stakes scenarios daily.

2. Staying Focused When It Matters Most

Distractions are everywhere — coaches yelling, parents on the sidelines, your last mistake playing in your head.

Focus is the ability to lock in on the moment, the task, and the performance — not everything else around you.

Pro Tip: Train Your Attention Like a Muscle

Studies show that using pre-performance routines and mindfulness strategies help athletes stay in the moment (Bird, Swann, & Jackman, 2024)

How to Improve Focus:

Develop a pre-game routine (music, visualization, breathing).
Use trigger words like “next play” or “reset” to move on after mistakes.
Journal after each match to reflect and release.

3. Confidence You Can Rely On

Confidence isn’t just feeling good — it’s trusting your preparation.

Players who believe in their abilities are more likely to take risks, stay composed, and recover faster after setbacks. That’s not just a mindset — it’s science. Research shows that confidence enhances decision-making, speed, and emotional control in elite players (Brewer, 2009)

How to Build Real Confidence:

Set small, process goals and track progress (Williamson et al., 2022).
Celebrate effort and improvement, not just outcomes.
Surround yourself with coaches and mentors who give honest feedback and build belief.

4. Mentally Strong Players Have a System

Mental toughness isn’t just born — it’s trained.

Through years of playing professionally, I’ve experienced moments of pressure where entire clubs and teammates counted on me to perform. The pressure to score, lead, and deliver isn’t easy — but I’ve learned to see it as a privilege. Why? Because it means people believe in my ability.

Mental performance work is how I show up every week, focused, confident, and ready. And it’s the same work I now guide young players through in my mentorship.

Final Takeaways for Parents

Support your child emotionally first. Encourage self-reflection, not just performance.
Help them build a routine that includes mental skills: journaling, recovery, goal setting, and self-talk.
Invest in coaching that supports their mindset — not just their technical skills.

Ready to Train the One Skill That Separates You From the Rest?

If you're a player (or a parent of one) aiming to go pro — technical ability alone won’t be enough. You need the mental side dialed in to rise to the top and stay there.

Click below to apply for the NLPSD Mentorship Program

Work with me 1-on-1 to build confidence, focus, resilience — and a real plan to reach the next level.

References

Brewer, B. W. (Ed.). (2009). Handbook of Sports Medicine and Science: Sport Psychology. Chichester, UK: Wiley-Blackwell.Tenenbaum, G., & Eklund, R. C. (Eds.). (2007). Handbook of sport psychology (3rd ed.).

John Wiley & Sons.Nicholls, A. R., Polman, R. C. J., Levy, A. R., & Backhouse, S. H. (2012). Mental toughness, coping, and emotion in elite sport. Journal of Sports Sciences, 30(2), 139–149.

Williamson, O., Swann, C., Bennett, K. J. M., Bird, M. D., Goddard, S. G., Schweickle, M. J., & Jackman, P. C. (2024). The performance and psychological effects of goal setting in sport: A systematic review and meta-analysis. International Review of Sport and Exercise Psychology, 17(2), 1050–1078. https://doi.org/10.1080/1750984X.2022.2116723

Bird, M. D., Swann, C., & Jackman, P. C. (2024). The what, why, and how of goal setting: A review of the goal-setting process in applied sport psychology practice. Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, 36(1), 75–97.